soloblog

On a Wall

2012-01-14T11:30:00.000-05:00

Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:

It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3000 years old!

They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.

The President of the society, pointed to first drawing and said:

"This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem.

You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.

The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them."

"Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they seek food from the sea.

The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews."

The audience applauded enthusiastically.

Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,

"You Idiots...Hebrew is read from right to left... It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on that Chick'"

Thanks to AW

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One-Liner

2011-11-29T15:35:00.000-05:00

“Witnessing the Republicans and the Democrats bicker over the U.S. debt is like watching two drunks argue over a bar bill on the Titanic.”

They sent my Census form back.....AGAIN

2011-10-14T11:22:00.000-04:00

In response to the question: "Do you have any dependents?"

I replied .......

12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 42 million unemployable lazy no goods; the entire cast of the Jerry Springer Show;

2 million people in over 243 prisons; 300,000 leftovers from Katrina; half of Mexico; and hundreds more in the U.S. House and Senate.

Apparently, this wasn't an acceptable answer.

The Rebbe

2011-09-23T13:54:00.001-04:00

It's 3:30 in the morning, Sept. 21, 2011. I'm tired. My alarm is clear and loud. This time I actually heard it. The other three or four times I simply awakened in anticipation. My friends, the Kaplans, Terri, David and Andy were picking me up at 4:30 so it was a quick shower followed by some Cheerios and coffee. We were off to the airport to go to New York. The purpose of the day was to pray at the grave of Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson.

Chabad Hasidism’ is an arm of the Orthodox Jewish spiritual belief system that endorses spiritual advancement through the spread and incorporation of the mysticism of Judaism as the principal facet of the Jewish faith. Chabad Lubavitch is a movement with such Hasidic roots and Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson was the person responsible for spearheading the Chabad Lubavitch movement and enabling it to become so popularly widespread among the global orthodox Jewish community. Although words can barely do justice to such an accomplished soul, here is a bird’s eye view of the greatest Chabad leader’s rich life and teachings.

Chabad was founded in the late 18th century by Shneur Zalman of Liadi. The Lubavitch branch takes its name from Lyubavichi, the Russian town where the group was based until the early 20th century. Yosef Yitzchok Schneersohn the sixth leader fled war-torn Europe for New York in 1940,^[3] where he established a synagogue. His son-in-law, Menachem Mendel Schneerson, turned the movement into a powerful force within Judaism.

Our small group and members of several other Chabad from Atlanta and Florida found each other at LaGuardia airport in New York. Each of the men brought our Tallis and Tefillin, put them on and prayed the morning service at the airport. And that was just the start.

We boarded our private chartered bus and were off to pray at the grave of Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson. From the street all we could see was an old house with several entrances. I was concerned about how far I would have to walk and how many stairs I would have to negotiate. Little did I know that there were many more stairs and several hundred feet of a walking path to the grave. There was no room for or availability of a wheelchair. Somehow, I made it, and if I only had known the wonderful reward at the end of the path I might have moved even faster. Befor starting out to the grave, I had the opportunity to write a personal letter to the Rebbe. The purpose was to put together my most sincere greetings and requeste to the Rebbe, to read the letter at the grave, to pray and to then tear up the letter and toss the pieces on to the grave. The grave was in a square concrete crypt. The whole experience was very moving and easily worth the what I had there. All I had for personal support was my cane . Couple the cane with the support of Rabbi Silverman and my other companionsle to make it back to the bus.

We continued on to the Chabad headquarters where we had the opportunity to chat with others and pray in rooms used by the Rebbe. The history of the movement is fascinating as was the sincerety of those spreading it to us. In the afternoon we had some free time. Several went touring and/or shopping. With the help of the Rabbi I found a chair in a small kosher restaurant and had a much needed rest.

Soon we boarded our bus and returned to the airport. I continued my rest. This day would not have been possible were it not for the caring aid of the Kaplans, the Rabbi and the wheelchair attendants at both airports. To simply say this day was special would be cheating the deep spiritual experience of the day. I look forward to another trip.

Sex And Good Grammar

2011-09-14T14:29:00.000-04:00

For all my friends in the education field and those that want to be grammatically correct....

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was there for.

The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned," This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and then say “1-2-3."

"When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."

The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say “1-2-3-4,” he responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes and then she asked "What’s the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, girls and boys, is why we should never end
our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

Afternoon with Zoe

2011-09-14T14:10:00.000-04:00

We had a wonderful Saturday with my son, Aaron, his wife, Sara and my beautiful granddaughter, Zoe. Our luncheon date was at a favorite Chinese/Japanese buffet restaurant midway between our home in Marietta and theirs in Chattanooga. Zoe was her wonderful self, inquisitive and full of vigor. We ate sushi, soup, various appetizers and various Chinese dishes. I was wearing my new Crow boot, and Zoe wanted to know about my "bird" boot.

From there we traveled to the Tellus museum in Cartersville. Tellus is a science and industry museum, a smaller scale of the famous museum in Chicago. We played safe and brought my wheelchair. It turned out that we needed it as the entrance was a long way from the parking lot. The chair made getting around the museum very easy. There's no way I could have covered that much real estate with the walker. Even with the chair, pushing me around puts a strain on My Prize. I'm tired of being a burden.

The first exhibit I saw was the original Wright brothers' first flight airplane. We saw several satellites and a jet plane's cockpit. There was a collection of cars, old and new. A pendulum clock stood out in the front lobby and the giant childrens' playroom kept Zoe busy for an hour. The afternoon went by very quickly. It's always difficult to say goodby to Zoe. She now has a solution to that problem. Her new trick is to pick up the phone and dial my number. "Hi grandpa. How's your foot."

Crow Boot

2011-08-28T18:24:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I feel like a cripple. Hell, I am a cripple. More than 13 months ago I had a bad fall and suffered a compound fracture of my right foot, ankle and leg. A few hours earlier I had been released from outpatient surgery at the hospital after having a broken elbow repaired. I think I still had some anesthetic in me, I hadn't eaten all day and my blood sugar was low and I was on a pain killer, resulting in a black out and a fall. Awakening in a pool of blood is not a good scene. My Prize called 911 and the fire department ambulance took me to Kenestone hospital.

The first month I had four operations and wound up with an exterior round metal apparatus around my leg connected by several pins going into my bones. For another month I underwent many tests on my kidneys, heart, lungs and what ever else the doctors wanted to put me through. Finally I was sent to smaller sub hospital, and the tests kept coming. Finally,at the end of October I was transferred to Manor Care on Johnson Ferry Road in Marietta, a rehab hospital where, for two months, I had physical and occupational therapy every day. In each of the places the food was terrible. Most of the nurses were good, and some needed service dogs.

Sometime in late December, I was transferred back to Kenestone. They were concerned about my kidneys. After three days I was released, only to find that I could not go back to Manor Care. The home's social worker, Lessee, told me I could not return because I could not put full weight on my foot. I think she's full of shit. I was very disappointed because of the great progress I was making in therapy. After many phone calls, I found a bed at Manor Care in Decatur. This home was similar but lacked the level of equipment of Marietta.

Another surgery was scheduled for early January. I was still in a lot of pain. There had been no contact from my orthopedic surgeon for months. My son is a podiatrist up in Chattanooga. He recommended a podiatric surgeon in Decatur who does bone fusions. So now we start all over again. It's a good thing that I was in a therapy home. I needed lots. I was there for three months and finally released to home on April fourth, our 40th anniversary.

Pain still rules my life. At home I mostly live in a wheel chair. I can walk with a walker and somewhat with a cane. I try to get out every day and get to Minyan occasionally. Tomorrow I pick up what is called a crow boot, a custom made boot that is supposed to equalize pressure on my foot and ease pain. I'll let you know the results.

2011-08-22T14:44:00.000-04:00

One of the greatest benefits of growing older is the good fortune of watching grandchildren grow up. For our family August is a month of birthdays, each of my children, one son-in-law and one daughter-in-law. My children were in town. My older daughter, Kerry, her husband, Evan and their three daughters, Chana 3, Penina 4 and Rochael 13 were in from Toledo Ohio. My oldest child, Aaron, his wife, Sara and their daughter Zoe drove here from nearby Chattanooga Tennessee. Then there's my youngest, Stephanie who lives here in Smyrna. Lastly, my Prize and me with two wonderful dogs, Mandie and Harley. We partied, we ate and we prayed. Davening and putting on tefelin with Evan who is a cantor in an orthodox synagogue was a special pleasure.
The highlight of the week was playing with my granddaughters and watching them interact with everyone, including the dogs. The two youngest were into mischief whenever we took our eyes off of them. They had to see how everything worked, taste all the foods or what they thought was food and chase the dogs without mercy. The oldest is turning into fine young women, reminding me of my age. I hope there are many more chapters to this story.

RIVKA AND SHMUEL

2011-08-19T12:49:00.000-04:00

At breakfast time Rivka asks her husband, Shmuel, "Vould you like mebbe some bagels mit lox, a piece of herring, and mebbe some grapefruit and tea?"

"Tanks for asking but I'm not hungry right now, " he says, "It's this Viagra. It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime Rivka asks him if he would like something: "A bowl of mushroom barley soup and a pastrami sandwich or mebbe some potato latkes?" she asks.
Shmuel declines.

"The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinnertime she asks again if he wants anything to eat.

"A juicy brisket and scrumptious kugel? Or mebbe some flanken or chicken?"

He declines again.

"No," says Shmuel, "It has to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."

"Vell," says Rivka, "Vould you mind getting off me. I'm starving!"

National Ignorance

2011-07-17T13:52:00.000-04:00

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. How is it that we can afford to double our military budget since 9/11, can afford the carried-interest tax loophole for billionaires, can afford billions of dollars in givebacks to oil and gas companies, yet can’t afford to invest in our kids’ futures?

Exploded Rocket

2011-07-17T12:02:00.000-04:00

Will Roger Clemens walk? In Federal court last Thursday the latest prosecutorial implosion, acting like a fumbling farm team killed the prosecution's own case? Millions of dollars, unknown time and 45 witnesses have been wasted in the case against the Rocket. He's been charged with lying to Congress about using steroids and human growth hormones, and is probably guilty. So what if he walks.

Bachmann

2011-07-17T11:35:00.002-04:00

To default "... is to play with fire. To oppose attempts to head off this impending economic catastrophe is to play with fire in a gas-filled room. And as we know, Bachmann has plenty of experience doing that."
Jonathan Capehart, Washington Post, Jul. 14, 2011

Birds of a Feather Stick Together

2011-07-16T19:00:00.001-04:00

The Stars and Stripes Forever

2011-07-10T18:08:00.000-04:00

Reality Check

2011-06-12T14:26:00.001-04:00

Me thinks too much time and energy has been spent on Anthony Weiner. I offer a piece from a June 10 New York Times editorial by Peter Catapano. " Can you imagine how much different, and better, our political culture would be if our establishment media devoted even a fraction of the critical scrutiny and adversarial energy it devoted to the Weiner matter to things that actually matter. But that won't happen, because the people who comprise the press corps, with rare exception, are both incapable of focusing on things that matter and uninterested in doing so. Talking about shirtless pictures and expressing outrage about private sexual behavior -- like some angry, chattering soap opera fan furious that one of their best known characters cheated -- is about the limit of their abilities and their function."

Foley Filter© with Lee-Weiner Option©

2011-06-02T21:13:00.000-04:00

Foley Filter© with Lee-Weiner Option©. Lets you monitor chats, IMs and tweets. Foley Filter©, updated every congressional session, alerts you if your lawmaker communicates with congressional pages or goes within 100 feet of page dormitory. Lee-Weiner Option© employs the latest in advanced scanning technology to block incoming or outgoing transmission of shirtless/pantless photos.

Thank you to Ruth Marcus, Washington Post

Request

2011-06-02T20:50:00.001-04:00

"Dear President Obama:
I am writing today with a somewhat unusual request. First and foremost, I will be asking that you return America to its August 20th, 1959 borders so that Hawaii is no longer a state and you are no longer a citizen.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu"

Thanks to Jerry Singer for this one

John Kohout's Macro Photography Tool

2011-06-01T19:09:00.000-04:00

It was 1980, I was recovering from heart surgery, was glued to the house and my darkroom and my passion for photography had jumped to new heights. Each month I couldn’t wait for the next camera club meeting. Every time I saw a medium new to me I had to try it. Nothing took up more of my interest at that time than Macro Photography. I marveled at the blowups of tiny images of flowers, bugs and birds.

One month we had a speaker named John Kohout. He was the curator of the Kane County arboretum. I had traveled to a photography workshop in Holland Michigan on at least three occasions. John explained his theories of lighting, film, focusing, etc more completely than I have ever heard before. He demonstrated an apparatus that attached to the screw hole on the bottom of his camera.

This amazing gizmo had an arm on each side and another arm off of those. They were all moveable and could be held in place by tightening thumb screws. At the end of the arms, on both sides of the camera was a tower. One was about two inches tall and the other, about three inches tall. On each was a low-powered flash. He explained that the difference in height simulated 3 to 1 lighting – mimicking sunlight. He kept his macro at f-22, taped the focusing barrel so it could not move, and focused by moving his head closer or further from his subject.

The process seemed amazing to me. Of course, I wanted one. I could never get enough toys. Kohout explained that he made these flash attachments himself. After our meeting I asked him if I could get one. John immediately invited me to his home and we set a date. He spent an entire morning showing me the ins and outs of the gizmo. He sold me one for $10. That was 26 years ago, and I still worship my toy. I recently added a slave to each tower, enabling the attachment to be used with a digital camera. No more sync cables. The camera’s main flash triggers the other two. The attachment changed my life. Several of my slides have been accepted by salons in Europe and Asia as well as in the USA.

A few weeks later I phoned John to sing praises of his invention. I was told that John had been killed in an auto accident.

Photo of the Day

2011-05-31T21:29:00.000-04:00

Outgrowing the Relationship

2011-05-29T14:04:00.000-04:00

I recently replaced my three-year-old BlackBerry Pearl with a much more powerful Samsung Galaxy. Needless to say, I was impressed with how far the technology had advanced in three years. Even when I didn’t have anybody to call or text or e-mail, I wanted to keep fondling my new Galaxy and experiencing the marvelous clarity of its screen, the silky action of its track pad, the shocking speed of its responses, the beguiling elegance of its graphics.

I was, in short, infatuated with my new device. I’d been similarly infatuated the Pearl, of course; but over the years the bloom had faded from our relationship. I’d developed trust issues with my Pearl, accountability issues, compatibility issues and even, toward the end, some doubts about my Pearl’s very sanity, until I’d finally had to admit to myself that I’d outgrown the relationship.

Well Said

2011-05-25T17:36:00.000-04:00

Bibi Rocks the House - Jennifer Rubin -- Washington Post, today
Netanyahu publicly stated he would give up land considered by Jews to be part of their historic homeland and left no doubt that the Palestinians' refusal to recognize a Jewish state is the sole reason there is no Palestinian state. The genuine expression of warmth and respect, but more important, agreement from Congress was undeniable. Netanyahu is a uniter - is there any issue on which the Congress is so totally united?
And Netanyahu made a key point to lawmakers weary about demands from unstable regimes. "No nation building is needed. Israel is already built. There is no need to export democracy. We already are one." And there's no need for U.S. troops because "we defend ourselves."

Who Insulted Whom?

2011-05-22T17:07:00.003-04:00

Who insulted whom? According to PETER CATAPANO in the today's New York Times Opinion section, The president surprised Netanyahu by "...giving a momentous speech that stunned the world, and majorly ticked off Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, by publicly snubbing long-time ally Israel in favor of a Palestinian state based on 1967 borders." He was not boo'd at the beginning of his address to AIPAC, but audible boos were heard when he brought up his plan to base an Israeli-Palestinian peace deal on said border lines.

"...president Obama gave yet another high-falutin’ speech setting off a wave of outrage among politicians and commentators of a certain political persuasion declaring that Obama had once again shown his true and awful lack of respect for everything American, Christian and Israeli."

Of course Netanyahu wasted little time in publicly letting Mr. Obama know his feelings about reverting Israel's territory to pre 1967 borders, that such borders are indefenseable asnd suicide. Did Netanyahu rebuke our president? Did President Obama rebuke Prime Minister Netanyahu? Was President Obama's statement on the need for a Palestinian state a provocation or a bold challenge?

NEW JEWISH WORDS

2011-05-15T16:23:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Ralph Sher for this one

Jewbilation (n..) Pride in finding out that one's favorite celebrity is Jewish or that your offspring is marrying a Jewish person.Torahfied (n.) Inability to remember one's lines when called to read from the Torah at one's Bar or Bat Mitzvah. (OR from the Hagadah at Passover)Matzilation (v.) Smashing a piece of matzo to bits while trying to butter it.

Chutzpapa  (n.) A father who wakes his wife at 4:00 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper.
Deja Nu  ( n.) Having the feeling you've seen the same exasperated look on your mother's face, but not knowing exactly when.
Disoriyenta  (n.) When Aunt Linda gets lost in a department store and strikes up a conversation with everyone she passes.
Hebort  (v.) To forget all the Hebrew one ever learned immediately after one's Bar or Bat Mitzvah.
Jewdo  (n.) A traditional form of self-defense based on talking one's way out of a tight spot.
Mamatzah Balls (n.) Matzo balls that are as good as your mother used to make..
Meinstein - slang. "My son, the genius!"
Mishpochadots (n.) The assorted lipstick and make-up stains found on one's face and collar after kissing all one's aunts and cousins at a reception.
Re-shtetlement (n.) Moving from Brooklyn to Miami and finding all your old neighbors live in the same condo building as you.
Rosh Hashana-na-na ( n.) A rock 'n roll band from Brooklyn .
Yidentify (v.) To be able to determine Jewish origins of celebrities, even though their names might be St. John , Curtis, Davis, or Taylor.
Minyastics (n.) Going to incredible lengths and troubles to find a tenth person to complete a Minyan.
Feelawful  (n.) Indigestion from eating Israeli street food, especially falafel.
Dis-kvellified (v.) To drop out of law school, med. school or business school as seen through the eyes of parents, grandparents and Uncle Sid. In extreme cases, simply choosing to major in art history when Irv's son David is majoring in

biology is sufficient grounds for diskvellification.
Impasta (  n.) A Jew who starts eating leavened foods before the end of Passover.
Kinders Shlep  (v.) To transport other kids besides yours in your car.
Schmuckluck (n.) Finding out one's wife became pregnant after one had a vasectomy.
Shofarsogut  (n.) The relief you feel when, after many attempts, the shofar is finally blown at the end of Yom Kippur.
Trayffic Accident (n.) An appetizer one finds out has pork

Tea Anyone

2011-05-12T10:01:00.000-04:00

I recently read an article in the May 23 edition of Forbes entitled: "Why Medical Schools Should Not Teach Integrative Medicine." The author, Steven Salzberg, is talking about holistic medicine, alternative medicine -- acupuncture, homeopathy, reflexology, etc. He says "These names can't disguise the fact that many of the practices are bad medicine."
About a dozen years ago when my mother was alive and ailing she asked me to take her to her doctor who she was very fond of. The first thing I noticed was that there was no MD after his name that was printed on the door. The homeopathic doctor greeted us. He was very friendly and I could tell that my mother was comfortable with him. My mother's ankles were very swollen. She was suffering from kidney failure and diabetes. I asked the doctor how he was treating her ankles. His answer was a plastic baggy filled with a tea. "Take this tea every day and see me next month." Upon checking out she was presented with a bill for $80.

Photo of the Day

2011-05-08T17:16:00.000-04:00

We Did Our Part

2011-05-04T11:29:00.000-04:00

Sometimes in our excitement we forget the real goal for the Arab world. Thomas L. Friedman summed this up in his op-ed in the New York Times on May third.

"We did our part. We killed Bin Laden with a bullet. Now the Arab and Muslim people have a chance to do their part — kill Bin Ladenism with a ballot — that is, with real elections, with real constitutions, real political parties and real progressive politics.

Yes, the bad guys have been dealt a blow across the Arab world in the last few months — not only Al Qaeda, but the whole rogues’ gallery of dictators, whose soft bigotry of low expectations for their people had kept the Arab world behind. The question now, though, is: Can the forces of decency get organized, elected and start building a different Arab future? That is the most important question. Everything else is noise."

Lousy Timing

2011-05-04T10:02:00.002-04:00

Me thinks we made a mistake. While I understand the excitement of Osama's death on most of us, I question the President's thinking. Why broadcast the issue? The hard drives and other info that was taken from the compound where Osama hid might be invaluable in finding other terrorists. Are there emails that will tell who knew of the compound? It seems to me that the hype is a national ego trip, not to mention the President's. How difficult would it have been to wait a few weeks before announcing Osama's death and not warn the enemy that we are coming for them?

Is Celebration in Order

2011-05-04T09:49:00.001-04:00

"While the killing of Osama Bin Laden is being enthusiastically celebrated throughout America and some parts of the world, to say that such merriment is out of order will surely be considered heresy. Nonetheless, I'm saying it--because it needs to be said. For starters, let me ask this: "Those of you who are celebrating--could you just pause for a moment and consider: What message are you sending the world?"
I certainly understand how those who have suffered from the events of 9/11 may feel relieved, even happy, to have "closure" after ten years of waiting for "justice to be done"--and I don't quarrel with such feelings. Closure is a natural yearning and can help people move on from serious trauma. And, of course, feelings are feelings. If you feel joyful, you feel joyful.
But celebration in the streets and on the airwaves is neither appropriate nor advisable--really--no matter what your feelings of elation. Here's why."
Dr. Pamela Gerloff -- lifted from Yolanda Asher's Facebook comment

Yom HaShoah

2011-05-02T13:52:00.007-04:00

Today, May 2, 2011 is Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Martyrs' and Heroes' Remembrance Day.

Today there is one less activist!

As King Solomon wrote:

To every thing there is a season… A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance … A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. ~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Rough Year

2011-05-01T16:28:00.002-04:00

The date was July 10. I had outpatient surgery on a broken elbow. By five I was home. I must have had some of the anesthetic still active in me, I hadn't eaten for a long time so my insulin level was too high and I had recently taken a pain killer. I was really out of it, and for some unknown reason I stood up in bed and blacked out. There was blood around me on the floor. My ankle and lower leg suffered a compound fracture.

The ambulance was rough and cramped. An EMT made sure I was strapped in, took my vitals and headed for Kenestone Hospital where I was placed in a private room. Why I was operated on by Dr. Chen, a pulminologist remains a mystery. I awakened with several pieces of metal coming out of my skin and a lovely button that delivered a dose of morphine-- not the type of high I desired but very welcome just the same. At least two more surgeries were ordered, never more often than once a week. Shortly after Dr Chen did his work I was operated on by Dr. Lundy, an arthropod. Again I awoke to new metal coming out of my lower leg. There were two rings circling my leg, each with spokes going through my skin. The site was ugly and frightening.

Lots of blood work was performed, and the kidney doctors were not happy with the results. Many tests were ordered and I was visited daily by heart doctors, kidney doctors, lung doctors and others. After the surgeries I'd been in for a month. All the doctors and their tests took another month. I was transferred to a smaller hospital in the Kennestone family.

Another month passed, and I was transferred to Manor Care on Johnson Ferry Road, a rehab hospital like place. It seems that all the time I'd spent on my back destroyed much of my muscle tone. I couldn't even hold a fork. Much of November and December I had daily PT and OT. I got as far as standing between the parallel bars.

Surprise! One day I was transferred back to Kennestone. It seems the doctors at Manor Care on were concerned with my kidney levels. I stayed three days and was informed that I could not return to Manor Care on Johnson Ferry because I could not put full weight on my bad leg. Punt! I found a bed in another Manor Care in DeKalb county, forty minutes farther from home -- a real problem for my family.

There was almost zero contact from the bone doctor. My son a podiatrist in Chattanooga, put me in touch with Dr. Camasta, a podiatrist in DeKalb. I was operated on again. Doctor Camasta did a bone fusion on my foot and leg. This time the metal was all on the inside. The surgery was in early January, and I stayed at Manor Care through March. Finally I came home. It's been difficult, but I'm recovering well but slowly. I can eat, wash and dress myself, and I get around pretty well with the help of a walker or cane. The strain on my family has been horrendous. It's been a rough year!

Saturday Pick

2011-04-30T18:04:00.000-04:00

Take a Trip

2011-04-23T16:20:00.001-04:00

There are days when there seems little to do. Those are the days to seek out some of Atlanta's treasures. If you are an art buff, take a trip to the High Museum of Art, one of the best museums in the country. Do you like Picasso, da Vinci, wonderful photographers or antique cars. The list is endless, and the artists and shows change regularly. Most of the major shows offer a headset to enhance your tour. There are also special activities and shows for the kids. The museum has it's own underground parking. The High is at Peachtree at 14th, and is not only worth a trip but habit forming.

A bit further east on Piedmont is The Atlanta Botanical Gardens. It is beautiful, very well kept and constantly changing. Pay special attention to the Fuqua Orchid House and the children's area. Cameras and walking shoes are a must. I also especially like the new walking bridge and the Azalea Garden. Parking is available and there are plenty of volunteers to answer questions.

There is a lot more to see in Atlanta. These are two of our favorites. Prize and I have been members for years.

Stuck is Stuck

2011-04-15T17:15:00.000-04:00

Each month we receive several folded fliers marked in all caps, "FEDERAL STIMULUS BENEFITS NOTIFICATION - IMMEDIATE ACTION REQUIRED," with a warning of fine or imprisonment for tampering with US mail. On the inside was our address, our mortgage debt, the amount we were ENTITLED to and a toll free phone number. I called and was questioned about my home value and mortgages. Upon finding that I had a first and second mortgage and little equity, the tide turned. The man I spoke with was very willing to refinance our first mortgage, currently at five per cent. He would not touch our second. What I was offered was horseshit and ragweed and thanks for calling.

Speak Up

2011-04-13T12:03:00.000-04:00

This morning's NY Times editorial by Maureen Dowd reminds me of a recent episode while I was in a rehab hospital. After watching her hospitalized brother die of multiple infections, she is convinced that a patient must be his/her own advocate. She says that it's necessary to a doctor or nurse that he/she nust wash their hands or that something needs to be explained better.

I'm a diabetic, and I take this terrible disease very seriously. An RN acted insulted when I questioned the insulin dose she was about to inject into me. I told her she was way off. She reminded me that her dosage was on the chart she showed to me. The same dosage she was about to give to me was used for all diabetic patients. I reminded her that dibetics are like finger prints. Each one has her/his own resistance to insulin. My words seemed threatening to this nurse that didn't want to have to think.

Happy Shavuot

2010-05-17T10:53:00.000-04:00

2010-04-24T14:29:00.002-04:00

PaPa

2010-04-16T17:33:00.000-04:00

For weeks we planned our trip up to Toledo, Ohio. Spring vacation was here. Prize didn't have to work for a week, and we were off. Our first stop was Chattanooga, home of my son Aaron, his beautiful wife Sara and my wonderful granddaughter Zoe McKenzie. I never know what to expect from my grandchildren so hearing the word Grandpa made my knees shiver. One of the greatest things about seeing Zoe about once a month is that her maturity growth stands out. There she sat in a grown up restaurant nice and straight and eating with a regular fork.

Next stop -- a restful evening at a Red Roof in Lexington KY. It's about half way to Toledo. Even switching off, we no longer can drive straight through. We dined and got to sleep early. It's Sunday morning, and after a short stop at the Awful House, We're off to Toledo. We checked into the local Red Roof and got a weekly rate. Next stop, my daughter and son in law's home and the home of my three other granddaughters, Chana Esther, 1 1\2, Penina Emma, 2 1\2 and Rochael, 12. Even the baby calls me Papa and loves to be held by me. Penina is a little more independent but loved my attention. We got there in time to enjoy kiddush and the last meal of passover.

One day we drove to Detroit and visited Rochael's school. It's a Hebrew day school for orthodox girls. We ate a kosher dairy lunch including ice cream for dessert. We were in a southern suburb of Detroit called Southfield which is about an hour's drive from Kerry's. Our time in Toledo sped by, and we said good bye Friday morning after I made fried matzos for everyone. Saying farewell to the little ones was hard. We promised we'd be back in July for Rochael's bat mitzvah. We retraced our path back through Lexington and on to home the next morning.

Crash Waiting to Happen

2010-03-22T12:24:00.000-04:00

Fishing the Flowage

2010-03-15T16:56:00.000-04:00

Soon it will be fishing season, and I am reminded of a fond experience from long ago. I was a teacher in a suburb of Chicago, single, few ties and loaded with energy. Most teachers eagerly await the end of the school year. I was no different. This particular year, 1967, I had a plan. I was going fishing in upper Wisconsin. I had planned for the trip, renting camping gear, packing food and cooking needs and carefully going over all my fishing gear. My target was the Chippewa Flowage, north of Chippewa Falls and Eauclaire.

It was the day after school was out that I picked up my rented gear and packed everything into my 1962 red bug. Driving up past Milwaukee, Fond du Lac, Osh Kosh, Neenah and Menasha, Green Bay and still hours further into Chippewa Falls, I picked up some last minute items, a fishing license, some bait, a map and a twelve-pack of Milky Ways for nutritional insurance.

It was late afternoon and darker than it should have been. A front was coming in, and I wanted to stake my tent before the skies opened up. It was less than ten miles further to O'Neil's Creek camp grounds. I checked in and wasted no time in getting my tent up and unpacking my gear. I didn't know how much time I had until the rain and took a chance to try out the creek. One rod, one Mepps spinner, a few casts and a nice Walleye. The Milky Ways will have to wait.

Rat Pack

2010-03-02T13:58:00.000-05:00

Rat

Photo of the Day -- Canoes

2010-03-01T14:39:00.000-05:00

2010-02-26T16:31:00.000-05:00

We're Still Here

2010-02-26T16:30:00.000-05:00

The festival of Purim is celebrated every year on the 14th of the Hebrew month of Adar (late winter/early spring). It commemorates the salvation of the Jewish people in Ancient Persia from Haman's plot "to destroy, kill and annihilate all the Jews, young and old, infants and women, in a single day."

The story in a nutshell:
The Persian empire of the 4th century BCE extended over 127 lands, and all the Jews were its subjects. When King Ahasuerus had his wife, Queen Vashti, executed for failing to follow his orders, he orchestrated a beauty pageant to find a new queen. A Jewish girl, Esther, found favor in his eyes and became the new queen—though she refused to divulge the identity of her nationality.
Meanwhile, the anti-Semitic Haman was appointed prime minister of the empire. Mordechai, the leader of the Jews (and Esther's cousin) defied the king's orders and refused to bow to Haman. Haman was incensed and convinced the king to issue a decree ordering the extermination of all the Jews on the 13th of Adar—a date chosen by a lottery Haman made. Mordechai galvanized all the Jews, convincing them to repent, fast and pray to G‑d. Meanwhile, Esther asked the king and Haman to join her for a feast. At the feast, Esther revealed to the king her Jewish identity. Haman was hanged, Mordechai was appointed prime minister in his stead, and a new decree was issued—granting the Jews the right to defend themselves against their enemies. On the 13th of Adar the Jews mobilized and killed many of their enemies. On the 14th of Adar they rested and celebrated.

Figures

2010-02-17T13:17:00.001-05:00

Chinese Wedding Night

2010-02-11T15:56:00.000-05:00

A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin.. Truth be told, he
> >> is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.
> >>
> >> On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her
> >> husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and
> >> tries to be reassuring.
> >>
> >> 'My darring,' he whispers, 'I know dis you firss time and you berry
> >> flighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss
> >> anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?' he says, trying to sound
> >> experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her..
> >>
> >> A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for
> >> her request.
> >>
> >> She eventually shyly whispers back, 'I want to try someting I have hear
> >> about from odda girls... Numbaa 69.'
> >>
> >> More thoughtful silence, this time from him.
> >>
> >> Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her, 'You want... Garwic Chicken
> >> wif snow peas

Japanese

2010-02-11T15:40:00.000-05:00

Two Japanese businessmen are   talking during an afternoon dip in the hot baths at the Geisha   House.
The first businessman says, "Hirokosan, I   have some unpleasant news for you. Your wife is dishonoring you."
Hirokosan   can't believe what he hears, and asks for more information.
"Your   wife is dishonoring you with a foreigner of the Jewish faith."
Shocked, Hirokosan goes home and confronts his wife. "I   am told that you are dishonouring me with a foreigner of the Jewish   faith."
She replies, "That is lie. Where you hear such mishigas?

Just for Fun

2010-01-30T23:04:00.000-05:00

Morris Rabinowitz's Dentures

In 1936, Morris Rabinowitz fled his native Germany .

He sold his assets and made five sets of solid gold teeth with his cash, above the limit he could bring into the U.S.

When he arrived in New York the customs official was perplexed as to why anybody would have five sets of gold teeth. So Morris explained:

"Jews who keep kosher have two separate sets of dishes for meat products and dairy products, but, I am so religious I also have separate sets of teeth."

The customs official shook his head and said, "Well that accounts for two sets of teeth. What about the other three?

"Very religious Jews use separate dishes for Passover, but, I am so orthodox I have separate teeth for Passover meat and for Passover dairy food...."

The customs official shook his head and said, "You must be a man of very strong faith to have separate teeth for meat and dairy products and likewise for Passover. That accounts for four sets of teeth. What about the fifth set?"

Morris looked around and spoke softly. "To tell you the truth," he said, "once in a while I like a ham sandwich."

Davening in the Air

2010-01-29T13:06:00.000-05:00

Obamacare

2010-01-23T15:13:00.000-05:00

This is timely and hilarious. Thanks to the Grouchy Old Cripple>

Rescue

2010-01-22T15:50:00.000-05:00

Kudos to the brave fireman who was lowered from a helicopter and rescued a German Shepherd from the Los Angeles river.

Unbelievable

2010-01-22T15:21:00.003-05:00

     It seems that the highly trained crew of the commuter airliner operated by Chautauqua Airlines is not very worldly. A Jewish teen trying to pray on a New York-to-Kentucky flight caused a scare when he pulled out a set of tefillin, leading the captain to divert the flight to Philadelphia, where the commuter plane was greeted by police, bomb-sniffing dogs and federal agents.
     A 17-year-old on US Airways Express Flight 3079 was using tefillin, a set of small boxes containing biblical passages that are attached to leather straps, said Philadelphia police Lt. Frank Vanore.When used in prayer, one box is strapped to the arm while the other box is placed on the head.
     It's something that the average person is not going to see very often, but I'd expect more from the crew.
     I put on tefillin almost every day with the exception of Shabbos and feel badly when I miss. I understand the young man's need.

Just for Fun

2010-01-21T19:10:00.000-05:00

Mandie

2010-01-21T14:51:00.001-05:00

Did you know that a German Shepherd's sense of smell is 30,000 greater than mans'? Just imagine what must be going through such a dog's mind in a fast moving car with her head out the window. Mandie regularly gives me the eagle eye until I open the passenger side window for her. We can get such a "high" and we'll go to jail for it.

Total unemployed

2010-01-11T11:17:00.001-05:00

The American worker is in desperate need of help — and Barack Obama has turned a deaf ear.

On Friday, the Bureau of Labor Statistics published the December jobs report, finding that headline unemployment remained "unchanged" at 10 percent as the economy lost another 85,000 jobs.

Beneath this misleading gauge, however, one finds that the number of workers who are so discouraged that they have simply stopped looking for jobs continues to rise as U-6 unemployment rose from 17.2 to 17.3 percent for December.

The U-6 indicator is "Total unemployed, plus all marginally attached workers, plus total employed part time for economic reasons, as a percent of the civilian labor force plus all marginally attached workers." Out of a universe of 156 million (civilian labor + marginally attached), that's 26.9 million Americans out of work.

Victory

2010-01-10T12:41:00.000-05:00

Who knew at the end of the first quarter in Thursday night's championship game that Friday would be a snow day and Prize could stay home. Alas we crashed. Our plan was to watch the game on tape later on Friday. We learned early Friday the school was closed. We rose and sat down with a fresh pot of java and watched the tape of Prize's alma matter defeat Texas and win the national championship. We enjoyed the comfort of the couch, sitting there covered with blankets with Mandie in between us. Every time Alabama would score or make a great play we would whoop and holler and Mandie would bark. This was much better than going to work. Prize was happy.

Roll Tide

2010-01-07T21:13:00.002-05:00

I'm not going to stay up and watch the whole BCS championship. Prize gets up very early to go to work so she's taping the game. Before the game the singing of America and The Star Spangled Banner were wonderful. Bama won the toss and hurriedly fell behind six to nothing on two Longhorn field goals -- both the result of Bama miscues. Prize went to Bama, and we're pulling for the Tide. Ingram scores. It's seven to six.

Caught Ya....

2010-01-06T21:36:00.000-05:00

Snif

2010-01-05T11:45:00.001-05:00

Slept late again. I only got up for an 8:30 phone appointment that turned into a recorded message. Lucky bastard slept later than me. As soon as I put down the phone Doggy started whining -- letting me know she wanted her morning jaunt. On went the layers, an undershirt, a shirt, a sweater, a jacket and of course, my fedora. Doggy loves this weather, rustling through the leaves and sniffing everything, Supposedly a German Shepherd sense of smell is thousands of times better than ours. If only they could talk, I'd love to know what or who she smelled. Getting back inside was wonderful, and I was rewarded with a hot cup of coffee, a toasted bagel and some cut up pineapple left by Prize.

Now I can get back to reading the blogs I follow and find out what Big Ears is doing wrong now. It seems two wars are not enough. Now we've got to consider Yemen too.

2009-12-31T22:00:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year

Insanity

2009-12-28T16:31:00.001-05:00

First Movie

2009-12-26T21:09:00.001-05:00

What to do on Christmas. Let's go to the movies. Yesterday was one of those rare occasions bringing family together for a happy time. My son Aaron, his wife Sara and toddler Zoe picked up me in Marietta and younger daughter in the city near Cabbage Town on the way to Phipps Plaza AMC movie theater. There we met close friends with their two youngsters. We saw Alvin and the Chipmonks -- The Squeakwel. It was a great partially animated kid's movie.

The flick was followed by dinner at Marietta Diner. There were ten of us and Christmas Day is their busiest night of the year so we had to wait a little. The kids were troopers, and dinner was worth the wait. After we ate Aaron drove us both home -- lots of driving but well worth it.

Warmest Wishes

2009-12-23T17:15:00.003-05:00

A very funny parody.

New Shoes

2009-12-22T17:31:00.000-05:00

I wear orthopedic shoes and inserts. My shoes are very wide and have rocker bottoms. On a recent visit to my podiatrist I was told I needed a new pair, and he sent me to a specialized shoemaker who's about 20 miles away. I was fit very well and told the shoes would take about two weeks and would be shipped to me so I didn't have to drive back there. We were excited when the shoes came, that is until I tried to get them on. They were tight and hurt my feet. So I drove back to the store only to be told that I didn't take out the factory inserts before putting mine in. I felt kind of stupid. There was no way the shoes were going to fit with two inserts in each shoe. Now they fit very well.

Bachelorhood

2009-12-19T21:05:00.002-05:00

Prize is gone. I just got back from taking her to the airport. Her flight takes off at 10. She must have been in a hurry to get away from me as she checked her bag around eight. She's off to my elder daughter's house in Toledo Ohio and three of our four granddaughters. This trip must be important to her, and I hope she packed some warm clothes. Toledo stinks of ice and snow. Anyway, she'll have the kids and the cats to keep her warm.

2009-12-16T13:53:00.001-05:00

Happy Hanukkah

2009-12-14T11:26:00.002-05:00

Blonde Joke

2009-12-12T19:33:00.003-05:00

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, 'OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..'

Happy Hanukkah

2009-12-11T14:34:00.005-05:00

Tonight at 5:11 pm marks the start of Shabbos, the Jewish Sabbath. Before Shabbos begins we are to light the first Hanukkah candle -- Once Shabbos begins you cannot light any fire. -- as tonight also marks the first night of Hanukkah.

More than twenty-one centuries ago, the Holy Land was ruled by the Seleucids (Syrian-Greeks), who sought to forcefully Hellenize the people of Israel. Against all odds, a small band of faithful Jews defeated one of the mightiest armies on earth, drove the Greeks from the land, reclaimed the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and rededicated it to the service of G-d.

When they sought to light the Temple's menorah, they found only a single cruse of olive oil miraculously, the one-day supply burned for eight days, until new oil could be prepared under conditions of ritual purity. that had escaped contamination by the Greeks;

Because this is also Shabbos the Hanukkah candles are to be lit 30 minutes before Shabbos and burn for 18 minutes after Shabbos begins. Bottom line is that you cannot use the flimsy regular Hanukkah candles as they burn for only 30 minutes. Solution: Light one extra Shabbos type candle with the regular Hanukkah candles. It will burn more than the necessary time.

Tiger's Christmas Card

2009-12-06T14:48:00.002-05:00

O'niel's Creek

2009-11-29T15:18:00.004-05:00

I just finished reading a blog entry by GuyK of Charming, Just Charming in which he reminisces about the special benefits of his time spent in the woods fishing and shooting. His story brings to mind an fun time of 40 or so years ago. I was a science teacher just finishing the school year and very much in need of some relaxation. I had always been an avid fisherman, yet had never been to far upper Wisconsin. I stopped at A to Z RentAll and picked up a tent, sleeping bag, stove, ice chest and lantern. I packed plenty of cooking utensils, books and supplies.

Off I was. First stop was O'niel's Creek campgrounds north of Chippewa Falls. By the time I got there a front was closing in and had little time to pitch my tent and bring in my stuff. The rain hitting the tent was hypnotic. I was wrapped up in my sleeping bag, reading a good book and soon sleeping like a baby. Breakfast was Walleye from the creek. Some little kids came by to look at the fish. They asked a lot of questions, but all in all, were much more pleasant than eighth graders.

Next stop was the Upper Peninsula north of Heyward and more fishing. It was about two hours north of my camp, where I have no idea. More fish, more fun plenty of Indians and a ton of nature. I made a couple of more trips up there, one with my brother and one with my father. We had a goo time, and I mean no disrespect. There's nothing like being alone in the wilderness.

Rare Reward

2009-11-29T14:54:00.003-05:00

A Teacher's work is seldom done. Many is the weekend that has found me with my head buried in a book while My Prize toils away at endless eligibilities, each taking hours to complete. Yesterday we were invited to0 a reception for one of Prize's students of many years ago. He was recently ordained as a minister. The invitees were friends and educators who were instrumental in this young man's success. Prize's recognition in this young man's success was a rare reward.

Are you Listening

2009-11-28T16:44:00.000-05:00

Apple does it again!

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.

This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

No Jews Allowed

2009-11-27T16:50:00.000-05:00

Chess in the Park

2009-11-25T21:59:00.001-05:00

Mom's Recipe

2009-11-25T20:55:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow I will make, with a few changes, my mother's fabulous Thanksgiving dressing. 'Tis a shame she's not here to enjoy the day with us. It's really simple and all you need is:

4 loves of day old bread chopped or ripped into little pieces.
2 onions chopped
6 stalks celery chopped
2 large cloves pressed garlic
1 lb. sliced mushrooms
2 quarts chicken stock
1/2 pound browned Italian sausage
2 cups chopped parsley
vegetable oil or schmaltz

Brown onions and celery in oil, mix 1 quart of the stock with the bread and incorporate the onions, celery, mushrooms and garlic. Add the sausage and parsley. All the ingredients mixed together should be extra moist. If not, add some of quart no. 2. Add s & p to taste. If you need more flavor, sage, rosemary and thyme. Bake 1 hr at 350 or stuff bird if you do that.

Soft, Softer, Softest.....

2009-11-22T17:31:00.001-05:00

Autumn in the Dog Park

2009-11-19T17:32:00.004-05:00

Another glorious Atlanta autumn day brought Mandie and me to the dog park. The temperature was in the upper 50's and the sky was sunny at noon. Much to my surprise we were the only ones at the park when we got there. That was soon to change. Within a half hour there were over two dozen dogs, from tiny to large and in a host of colors. Most were mutts, and they all got along. One lady had seven miniature greyhounds she was trying to find homes for. I knew the names of more of the dogs than the owners.

After not finding a mud puddle to splash in, It took Mandie little time to find a tennis ball, and she promptly dropped it at my feet. I tried to ignore her, not wanting to re injure my rotator cuff. She's a regular Tom Sawyer, dropping the ball at any one's feet that would play fetch with her.

View From Piedmont Pond

2009-11-19T17:07:00.004-05:00

2009-11-17T13:56:00.000-05:00

Nam

2009-11-14T14:14:00.003-05:00

I'm not so set in my ways that I don't get a patriotic feeling when seeing some service men and women or listening to a Sousa march or our national anthem. In the sixties when many of my friends went into the service I was a jealous 4-F. I'm sure I did not comprehend the danger awaiting them over in Nam. The next few years changed me. Anti war demonstrations grew and the fiasco at Kent State added fuel to the fire.

It was in the later part of the decade while I was in graduate school that the following experience took place. The setting was a graduate level economics lecture hall, and I was sitting up at the top insuring a quick escape. In the same row were four military men on leave to finish graduate school. They were friendly and jovial. One day I noticed a change in their behaviour. They were quiet and sullen, and I was nosey. "I can tell something is wrong," I ventured. One of them spoke out. "You see, we're all chopper pilots and are being redeployed to Nam at semester end. We thought we were through, and now we're just scared." The term was ended, and I never saw any of them again. Events like this and later seeing friends' names on "the wall" fostered the reality of the age.

2009-11-11T14:29:00.001-05:00

Say What???

2009-11-11T14:21:00.000-05:00

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

A PAIN IN THE ASS

2009-11-09T17:11:00.001-05:00

When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'
[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]

Try this out:

Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and
purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson &
Johnson.

Be very sure you get this
brand.

When you get home, lock
your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the
phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your
favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it
on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped
or broken.

Now the fun part
begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it
carefully.

You will notice that in
small print there is a statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson &
Johnson is personally tested and then
sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I
am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control
department at Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE
WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!

Cough

2009-11-07T22:19:00.001-05:00

Just For Glee

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "

'No,' the woman replied. .......................I'm with the I.R.S..

Lifted from Charming, Just Charming

Celebrate

2009-11-04T20:38:00.003-05:00

Mandie graduated from obedience class today and even received a diploma. We worked on heeling without reward. The definition of healing is for the dog to continually watch you while walking on your left. We capped off the hour with some competition between the dogs. In one event the trainer held Mandie at one end of a long room with me at the other. On cue I called her and she got to me in just over four seconds and one the event.

And Tomorrow

2009-11-04T20:30:00.002-05:00

Autumn

2009-11-03T15:34:00.003-05:00

Sixty degrees, sunshine, light breeze and trusty Mandie at my side, I took a long walk about the complex. It would be hard to get a nicer day and this one was made even brighter by the beautiful leaves living out their last days as they fall to the ground.

Mandie loves to take a ride in the car so off we went to PetSmart to get her a new bag of Fit and Trim. These bags weigh in at about forty pounds and last about a month. Mandie went nuts, greeting patrons and dogs alike, having so much fun she even refused a cookie from the cashier. From there we went to Starbucks and sat outside where I entertained a large coffee -- very slowly --, and Mandie said hello to all that went through the door. I really didn't want to return home, but chores await.

The Pill

2009-11-03T14:45:00.001-05:00

Lifted from Grouchy Old Cripple>

Blonde Joke

2009-11-03T14:09:00.000-05:00

Stay
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Local Shopping Center and rolled
Down the car windows to make sure my
Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat
And I wanted to impress upon her that she must
Remain there.

I walked to the curb backward,
Pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,
'Now you stay. Do you hear me?'

'Stay! Stay!'

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady,
Gave me a strange look and said,

'Why don't you just put it in park?

Trick or Trick

2009-10-31T21:41:00.001-04:00

Lifted from the Grouchy Old Cripple>

Remember this...

2009-10-30T13:35:00.001-04:00

Lifted from Fat in Indiana

Yum!

2009-10-30T13:06:00.004-04:00

Yum! Lox, bagels, cream cheese, tuna, tuna salad, sable, salmon, white fish, herring, tomatoes and onions. This morning a friend honored the anniversary of the passing of a loved one -- Yahrzeit -- and bought the minyan group breakfast at Bagelicious, a neighborhood deli.

Photo of the Day

2009-10-29T10:55:00.000-04:00

Mandie

2009-10-29T10:30:00.004-04:00

Last night was Mandie's fifth of eight classes on dog obedience. She was great again. We worked on staying in place on command, increasing distances as we progressed. We also worked on staying in place with distraction.

Next week -- graduation.

What It's All About

2009-10-24T21:04:00.003-04:00

Daughter Kerry with three of my four granddaughters, Rochael on top and Penina - with binky - and Chana underneath.

Say Fire Truck

2009-10-24T21:01:00.002-04:00

Drain

2009-10-22T19:36:00.004-04:00

It seems not unusual for people to attach names to their cars,i.e. Betsy, Batmobile, etc. I call mine "drain." If it's not tires, batteries, wipers or in this case an alternator, I can only cringe and wonder what's next. It went like this. Starting about two weeks ago every time I turned off the ignition there was a loud metal on metal whistle coming from under the hood. The place I take my car for repair gave me a lift home, kept the car and called me shortly after to tell me the Car needed an alternator and the cost was over $650. They had the car for a few more hours so I had time to decide where to take the dough from.

So True

2009-10-20T14:14:00.001-04:00

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.

After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door..

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Photo of the Day

2009-10-19T15:48:00.001-04:00

Zoe

2009-10-16T21:35:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow will be a special day. My granddaughter, Zoe, is turning three. My Prize and I are going to drive to Chattanooga to go to a party in a park. There will be clowns and gifts and cake and ice cream and tons of food and a very large crowd. Whatever it takes to throw a bash, my son Aaron will do it. And the lady of the day will be running all over the park with a face full of frosting, smiling at one camera after another.

Tell you about the party next week along with a bunch of photos.